Last weekend, I woke up to an invite to this Facebook group called Tumblr Online Rambulan.
If I haven’t mentioned it before (which I doubt), I used to blog—more like write shitty life updates—on Tumblr. And it was fun… until it wasn’t.
I met a lot of friends there, though, that I’m actually still friends with today, a few of them are now some of my closest. But it just wasn’t the same until all the shit that happened.
I moved on, switch back to Blogger/Blogspot, which is where I was prior to signing up for Tumblr, then fast forward to now, here on WordPress.
But tonight, after having been active on the group for a few days, I was reminded of a few things about myself and how far I’ve truly come.
A Lesson in Not Caring
Back during my heydays on Tumblr (yes, I was somewhat ~*famous*~ on that godforsaken platform back in the day), my first thought would always be “is this something that my followers would like?”
And now, I hated that. I post for me. I blog for myself. I don’t care if my current followers like what I have to say or not as long as my content makes me happy, you know. (Okay, I’m not saying that any of y’all, my readers, don’t matter. I’m just saying that I’m no longer actively seeking out validation from anyone.)
Since I have been very active on the group and I’m quite notorious for being extremely vocal, I was called out a few times for being a ‘clout chaser’ (which is so stupid cause my posts aren’t even made-up shit; it’s literally shit that happened on Tumblr or between Tumblr folks and we’re airing it out now to get answers—exactly what these other people are doing but I suppose the difference is I’m getting the likes and the comments and they’re not). It’s not my fault that my posts get tractions.
But my reaction towards this is what surprised me cause I honestly didn’t care to the point that it was just laughable. A few years ago, comments like this would have crushed me. But now, I guess I’ve a lot more strength and resilience in me than I imagined.
Friends for Years; Friends for Keeps
I have met tons of people on Tumblr back then. And I mean tons. Some of them I no longer remember, some of them I’m still Facebook friends with, some are just now acquaintances, and some are people that I can truly count on.
This realization came in three parts.
One, although I didn’t need to, they are always there to defend what little honor I have left. I said people were calling me a clout chaser, right? Well, these Tumblr friends were there, basically ready to fight and drag people to filth. I was so surprised cause I wasn’t really expecting any of that. But I’m happy and I’m thankful.
Two, I was really quite a handful back then (save this for a different story) but they still stood by me. And although they’re airing to the group the shitty person that I was, I didn’t care because all it did was made me smile. Because even after all that, they were still there and they never really abandoned me.
(Note that the persons referred to on parts one and two were people that I didn’t think of as my “ride or die”. These people were people I used to be very close with but along the way, we just fell apart and followed different tracks. This is why the whole thing surprised me.)
Three, Tumblr really did give me some really amazing friends and this fact was somehow sealed by all the shenanigans brought about by this group. It’s really heartwarming, to say the least.
I guess we never really know how far things have come until we get to the other side and see the difference.
This post was originally written on April 1st. The group, sadly, has already been taken down, lmao.